As you know from my last blog...tomorrow is my first day back to work & truthfully I am having a very difficult time with it. It is not that I hate my job, basically I have really enjoyed the lack of stress in my life that my job tends to create at times, if not everyday. And I have truly enjoyed my time off being a stay-at-home mom. Now, I am not the typical stay at home mom...I don't have dinner on the table & don't keep a spotless home with beautiful decor. I am by no means meaning anything negative towards those who do...I do not like to cook and I am not a housekeeper. Of course, I keep up with the laundry and dishes, attempt to maintain some sort of pathway cleared to walk through the house; but if there is something that I could do with the kids or with Chris...I am doing it instead. What have I done on my maternity leave: 1. shuttled the girls (which usually included all four kids) to school, gymnastics, swimming, cheerleading, and church; 2. enjoyed time with Chris...we had gotten to know each other again considering we work different shifts of each other and really only take time to kiss each other goodbye as we switch off kids; 3. painted the girls room and moved them into the spare bedroom, now the girls and boys have separate rooms (not all four children in one room).
I am trying to have a positive outlook to my "trial"...God is in control. He blessed me with this job, I know that, and He could easily take it away. We do need my job for finances due to our debt, and God has that under control too. I am having to really depend on Him to get me through this little lull because I feel so torn between my family and job. I frequently have to keep myself in check to make sure I don't put my job in front of my family because I have a tendency to do that. That may sound crazy, but I give my all to what I do, therefore tend to let out on those closest to me.
Please pray that Chris and I can gain some wisdom and guidance for what is best for our family! We are looking into possibly selling our home to purchase a smaller and less expensive home. Before we do that...I want to be lead to quit work to become a stay at home mom, that is where I need the greatest guidance for the right direction.
Off to bed I go, attempt to get a good nights rest, to go to work "bright eyed and bushy tailed"!!! :) Thank you all to who read this and will keep us in your prayers!
Bless your heart. I hope your first day back was good though.
ReplyDeleteLet me straighten something up for you, just in case you have some preconceived notion about ME! I'm not a good housekeeper! Ask my mother. She puts me to shame. She did not bring me up this way. My house is not spotless, my laundry is NEVER all put away. Although it is, on occasion, all washed. My dishes are rarely all done. As far as cooking...I do it some, but there are many nights we throw together a sandwich, an omelet, or toss a corndog in the oven. And my boys are quite good and making their own cinnamon toast for breakfast. I could go on..
All this to say...
Do not let what you "think" is going on in other homes influence the way you feel about what's going on in yours. We all struggle. :)
I do hope you get the answers you are looking for in regard to your job and house situation.
I hope your first and second day have gone well for you. You are a great nurse and a super great Mom....I just know you are....I can tell. Your enthusiasm and love of nursing and the same for your kids and husband is evident.
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